THE CREAKING PLANKS: THE JUG BAND OF THE DAMNED

Monday, November 30, 2015

2015: our re-invention as a virtual idol group

We're getting old! The 11th anniversary of our inaugural gig is coming up and phoo-ee, in that time we sure have killed a lot of time in bars: load in at 6pm, sound check scheduled for 7, sound check starts at 8, first band starts at 9, second band starts at 10:15, we start at 11:45, we wrap at 1 am, strike the stage setup and load out by 1:30, get paid out by the bar once the end-of-night cash tally is completed at 2, drop band members off at their homes and get to bed by 3 am... up and at the day job by 7! But it was well worth it to play to the eight people who were still there at the end of the night. We're still going out to play shows whose bookers are motivated to host us (and, y'know, wedding receptions and interesting and well-remunerating functions), but our drive to seek out further punishment has been diminishing.

Instead, we've devised a new approach. We still enjoy each other's company, getting together and playing music, but why does it have to happen at places we wouldn't otherwise want to be, at times that are inconvenient for us? Instead, we can meet up in the evening in one of our living rooms and jam on comfortable sofas, with a cup of hot tea at our side and no flatscreen television sets subjecting us to brutal MMA mishaps. And by setting up a camera, we can allow you to sit in that living room with us, at your convenience, from your own comfiest chair, regardless of just how far away you live or how much room there is for additional human beings in our living room. You're all welcome to join us!

This is a way of saying that we've launched a YouTube video series of us workshopping and playing standards, originals and covers (and who knows, perhaps your suggested song could be next on the hit list?) The channel overall can be found over here, where recent recordings will always be available for interested parties to get up to speed. As of press time, we have four videos available for your enjoyment:

  • Our version of the Virgin Prunes' lost gem from 1982 "Sweethome under White Clouds":
  • Gena the Crocodile's Russian birthday song (Jason Webley translation):
  • Autobiographical Planks original (heck, you can hear echoes of it in this post's introductory paragraph) Your Sister's Wedding:
  • And one more Planks original, Boo Jupiter's request for "music for a pie-eating contest" at a 2008 county fair-themed warehouse party:
There will be ... quite a bit more of these -- basically, we intend on continuing to meet and record songs a few times a month until we reach the end of music. I figure that will take a while. There are more in the works already recorded at this moment and just being pieced together in spare moments on MacBooks. Will I update this post to reflect the new additions? Well... no. But probably they will get their own announcements here on our blog! So stay tuned (or, y'know, SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube feed) to keep yourself posted...

2015-12-06: Creaking Planks with Professor Gall and Carolyn Mark at the WISE Hall

OK, time to inaugurate this "new" website with a fresh gig promotion post! (Don't go back too far, folks, or the pages might break on you -- but we're working double-time to get all seven years of the website up to snuff.) We've never yet had a successful intersection with Portland's Professor Gall (even the most recent failed attempt was over a year ago, at a now-closed venue! The locations change but the urge remains constant...) and as for Victoria's Carolyn Mark, well she burned things down with us at Bernerland in February, but before that we haven't crossed paths since the Blackberry Wood house concerts at the Big Blue House in 2012... so clearly we've got some catching up to do!

This show is coming up this coming Sunday night, December 6th, running from 8 pm until late (but not too late, it's a Sunday night people 8) at the WISE Hall (upstairs 1882 Adanac at Victoria.) Tickets are $10! See you there!

Get your dancing shoes ready for December 6th at the WISE!

Professor Gall
A Tincture of Junkyard Folk and Steampunk Jazz, Professor Gall seeks to uncover the contradictions of an ambiguous and native-less society, "dreaming the existentialists' dream", while at the same time pleading for individualism, peace, and more fun at funerals.

Carolyn Mark
The Queen of Vancouver Island, Mint Records recording artist and all 'round sweety with a dark side! Country, folk and Americana delivered with a smile. Please welcome all the way from Vancouver Island: Canada's Best Country Cabaret Trio Carolyn Mark and the New Best Friends. Featuring Joel Fernandes (aka The Portuguese Stallion) on lead guitar and Dennis "The Ingrate" Siemens on the (barely) upright bass. Carolyn and her band sure love playing The Wise Hall and are glad The New Asshole Neighbours didn't get it shut down. The New Best Friends are delighted to share the bill with ...

The Creaking Planks

(Come on, you know us already!)

Thursday, November 26, 2015

2015-11-07: ASHKENAZ

Just a little note to our seemingly permanently hooped website that a rump delegation of Royshiker Krokves will be playing klezmer tunes at Floral & Hardy Edible Plants (688 East Hastings) this Saturday night at the free Heart of the City festival event "Ashkenaz", from 7:30-10 pm:
a celebration of eastern European music, Yiddish story telling and EATING... klezmir musicians, Yiddish story telling, bagels, cream cheese, jam and smoked salmon... FREE... a container will be passed around to raise some funds to sponsor a Syrian family to Canada

2015-10-01: Afterland launches!

Today marks the full worldwide release of Imaginary Games' "Afterland", a gothic collectible card game for smartphones... for which we were thrilled to compose and record soundtrack music and sound effects with a "dark carnival" edge. We'll be playing its launch party at Creative Coworkers tonight, but (sorry) it's a private function -- however the game is free-to-play, meaning that you can install it on your Android or iOS smartphone right this minute and hear our great work during your coffee break: (Sorry, Blackberry and Windows Phone users!)

2015-09-14: 8th annual Accordion Noir Festival accordion parade flashmob!

Ah, was it only a year ago that we logged our final appearance playing at the Accordion Noir Festival? How did we put it?
[T]his year marks ... the final AN Fest appearance of the Creaking Planks. Gasp! Shock! Say it ain’t so! [T]he programmers have spoken... (And who knows, maybe in time we can be brought back... But it won’t be in 2015.)
Well... what can we say? We're big, fat, lying liars. We saw this year's Sunday afternoon community event promoted with an accordion parade, and then got a fire lit under us when we were told that no one had organized one. But the location, Spartacus Books, so close to Trout Lake! All you need is two people (a small parade, granted, but one person alone is never a parade) to musically march one block and do a loop of the park. Surely we could round up two people in 48 hours!

Well, those 48 hours were a roller coaster ride, I can tell you. Squeezebox Circle luminaries confirmed their availability, then cancelled hours before the parade. Planks themselves boldly issued "yea"s which then somehow twisted cruelly into "nay"s. But having been announced, the show had to go on! So I strapped the baby accordion on my three-year-old and went to Spartacus Books to rendezvous with Daisy-Jones Locher, the only constant element in my hair-brained, last-minute cockamamie scheme.

There we found additional accordionists! Accordionists setting up raffle tables, adjusting stage lights, setting up video cameras... accordionists, otherwise put, unavailable to join us in our parade. But the hosts of the afternoon's fest program, the Kate & Rich duo from Halifax, were there early and opted to join us for strange kicks. (Just as well, I'd be lying if I said that our motivation was so very different.) A further ancillary accordionist loitering around the facility also followed suit, and we were off!

Without necessarily being a criticism, I feel confident in making the observation that the sunny Kate & Rich, likely highly lucrative on the busking circuit, may despite their affiliation with this festival this year, perhaps be the least Noir ensemble in existence. It didn't help that to lighten her load, Kate elected to play & promenade not on her regular 120-bass accordion, but the student model being offered as a raffle prize -- the one with no minor chord buttons. But we were so happy just to not be certifiably crazy weirdos out there all alone in the world (instead, crazy weirdos out there in a very small group in the world) that we tempered our planned park-circuit set (mostly klezmer) to suit the limitations of the instrument. But it sure made for an emotional roller coaster: we played "Creep", they countered with "You are my Sunshine"; we upped the ante with our G-rated rendition of Nine Inch Nails' "Closer", and they centred the mood back with "When the Saints Come Marching In". But our bizarre procession did garner some attention and drum up some interest in the imminent proceedings nearby at Spartacus -- notably, the final notes of Closer were recognized ("No freaking way!") by a park patron who was squatting a picnic table for a goth clothing swap.

OK, throwing together a last-minute accordion parade flashmob was stupid, what can I say. But also it was fun. (It was also, I think, the third most successful accordion parade in the festival's 8-year history, and this time no one had to play through garbage bags to keep their instruments from being drenched by a torrential downpour.)

Anyhow, thanks to the Accordion Noir Festival for waiving their prohibition of us, and thanks to Kate & Rich for mellowing our tartness with some sugar -- and thanks to all the goths out there, who have no choice but to be themselves in this world gone mad. Now, we have another announcement coming up for early October, so stay tuned!

2015-08-08: Eleven 88 Howe’s Party

If you live at 1188 Howe Street, you probably already know that your place of residence is presenting a block party this coming Saturday. If you live in the West End, you may not have known but this information may be of interest to you. If you don't live in the West End but could use an excuse to visit that lovable, walkable, urbanly dense neighbourhood, this could be just what you've been waiting for!
The festivities are divided up between four stages and other ancillary sites offering discounts and freebies. They're trying to bring about a Mr. Rogersian feeling of downright neighbourliness!
As for the performances, well, there are a bucketload! Throughout the event's runtime from 2-8 pm there are a pile of solo performers and small acts bouncing between the small acoustic outdoor stages and the amplified mainstage. The Mint Juleps, Monkeybar, Cowjazz Billionaires, Derek Nyberg, Julia Spitale and Shera Kelly, John Cullen, Jonny Paul, Johnny Scoop, Jordan Lyric, David Shurvell, Anni deGroot, Bad Oldesloe... AND MORE! To that list you can add not only the Creaking Planks, but also our mandolinist Daisy Jones-Locher (with Ludwika LePearl on cello) and Blackbox Squeezebeard (with his new beard the squeeziest it's been in some five years!) performing solo sets sometime within our compressed timeframe of 3-6 pm. There might be multiples! We, uh, we don't know yet when or where we'll be playing, but will update this page when it's finally confirmed.
The poster is by polymaths Jordan Lyric, who in addition to appearing on the bill also appeared in this very blog seven years ago (his comic strip appears at the very bottom). In case we don't manage to get the site updated in time to be useful, for breaking news and last-minute details you can check out the Facebook event for the block party. Cheers! (PS, thanks to the Bike Smut people for having us back for a zany intersection from even further back than Jordan's, opening on short notice for the July 23rd screening at the Rio! It was, well, it was really what it was.)

2015-05-02: May Day Info Fair at Grandview Park!

In an anarchic display of spontaneous unfolding, we have been engaged to perform at a free open-air info fair from 1-4 pm at Commercial Drive's Grandview Park Saturday, May 2nd, in celebration of the international workers' holiday the day before. Hosted by Audrey Siegl, the bill should include the fabulous Carnival Band, Gross Domestic Product, and voices in harmony from the Left Coast Labour Chorus and the Solidarity Notes Labour Choir.