2012-05-25: Pirate Party

This Friday night, the jug band of the damned hits the Grandview Legion (2205 Commercial) to lend some real dance music played on real instruments to the Revelry Society's annual Pirate Party, a Critical Mass afterparty. Other acts include: "Timothy Wisdom, Lola Lush, DJ Wellsie, Scantily Clad Clowns' EveKnevil, the Liana dancers, Oker, Bombus and a pirate peep show. Your MC of the evening will be the queen of the pirates Jessica peg leg Mansoon."

Doors at 9 pm. Tickets are $15, or $10 in advance from Highlife Records or revelrysociety.org

The organizers stress: "Please, no ninjas."

Also, an unrelated thanks to Bob and Elizabeth for having us play their wedding at the Peretz Centre on the 20th and showing us the length of their ... commitment and affection! We've portrayed a Jewish wedding band twice on stage now but this was the first time it was for reals. The gags and clowning made us feel almost as if we had been magically transported to Chelm itself, and of course having drag kings and the leader of the Liberal Party of Canada as side acts never hurts!

2010-10-29: Creaking Planks play at Witches and Warlocks Critical Mass afterparty

What are you doing after this?

How about this?

Witches, warlocks and other Hallowe'en creatures that bump in the night, lend me your ear(wig)s! Our night to celebrate the powers of light and (mostly) the dark is nigh upon us! The cursedly Creaking Planks will begin the evening, after which Little Woo will alter the fabric of the space-time continuum, transporting us to "The Silent Kingdom" with shades of puppets.

The heresy of the Blackberry Woods will lead us into a Bacchanalian trance of dance madness, and the wizard known only as Timothy Wisdom will weave enchantments of endless motion until the late hours. Potions will be drunk and demon's gate spells will be cast.

The party rolls at the Grandview Legion Hall upstairs at 2205 Commercial Drive; admission is $10, or $8 if you arrive as part of Critical Mass. The carriages turn back into pumpkins at 2 am.

2010-09-24: Accordion Noir Festival Squeezebox Dance Party

The third annual Accordion Noir fest is upon us again, a whole week of festivities already underway (click here for full details) and as with the previous two years, the Creaking Planks simply had to log an appearance celebrating the bountiful local supply of the wonderful squeezy weirdness whose virtues the Accordion Noir radio show / podcast extols weekly. Otherwise put:

Friday, Septemeber 24th -- Vancouver's number one squeezebox dance party: Mezamazing, Maria in the Shower, the Orkestar Slivovica and the Creaking Planks!

This Friday night, we celebrate two of the greatest mechanical inventions of the 19th century: the accordion, brought to life in the hands of some of East Van's most bombastic purveyors of dance music from the Balkans and points further out in left field, and the bicycle, rolled along Vancouver's moist lanes and byways in defiance of the notion that the change of season has to bring with it a change in attitude.

Enjoy an earful of the sweet people-powered music that ruled over the pubs and campfires before steam power ruined everything, starting at 9 pm upstairs at the Grandview Legion Hall (2205 Commercial Drive) and running late into the night. Everyone can enjoy the show for the low price of $10, but helmet-clad Critical Mass riders pay only $8!

2009-10-30: Velowe'en on Devil's Night!

As ancient lore tells it, Veloween is an age-old festival where for one day of the year old, dead, abandoned, dismembered and forgotten bicycles awaken to roll amongst the well-oiled and able-framed. We will celebrate together in copious ritualistic beer drinking and dance, possessed by the rhythms of the Creaking Planks, the Fur Bearing Animals and DJ Steamboat Fatty. A practice known to raise the dead follows, the eldritch Jackson Zombie Dance Off. Offerings to the shadow world will be made by Little Woo and her shadow puppet fairytale.

The best dressed bicycle competition commences the moment Critical Mass arrives at the Anza Hall (3 W. 8th Avenue at Ontario); the rider of the best-dressed bicycle wins never-ending pints all night.

At the strike of one am -- for those who are most fearless amongst us -- we will ride naked in circles around our celebration (did we mention that the event is a fundraiser for the 2010 World Naked Bike Ride?) to chase the bikes of the dead back to the underworld!

8 pm - 2 am; $10 / $5 if in costume with Critical Mass

2008-11-28: Creaking Planks back at Velofusion for Spartacus!

We must have made a good impression last month, since we've been invited back to play the same party again! (The "Velofusion" Critical Mass afterparty at the ANZA Club, 3 W. 8th at Ontario.) So to make up for past misdeeds, we're going to play the exact same set, but entirely in reverse -- undoing everything we did previously!  We'll pay for our stage time, dancers will lift their stomps right off the dancefloor and everyone will spit fountains of beer back into their little red plastic cups.  What do you mean that's crazy talk? I think it's a great idea!  But, admittedly, perhaps one whose time has not yet come.  OK, you won me over -- we'll mix things up with some different players and different charts, but don't think that the mere passage of Hallowe'en can hold back the Song of the Count!  The Planks set is slated for ~9-10 pm.

The Orkestar Slivovica must have done something good last month also, since they've been invited back, too!  It'll be like a little reunion.  Oh, how much can change over the course of 30 days!  Also taking the stage that night are The Heard, Vital Divine, and DJ sets from Bee Winter and Adrian Blackhurst's global funk & Balkan beats!  The proceedings are fundraising this time around for Spartacus Books, the little anarchist bookstore that could, not only home to Squeezebeard's monthly "57 Varieties" open stage and Vancouver's only Esperantist group but also the ultimate wellspring for Accordion Noir! Admission is $10, but only $5 if you arrive with the Critical Mass.

2008-10-31: Creaking Planks at "Veloween" Critical Mass afterparty

What with our tremendous success last time around we figured that we'd be a shoe-in for next year's (May) Pirate Critical Mass afterparty and that we'd be hearing back from the (pedal-)powers that be at that point.  Perhaps remembering our Zombiewalk introduction into Vancouver, they've seen fit, however, to invite us back to join them for the Velofusion party this month on Hallowe'en!  (We are the Jug Band of the Damned, after all.  We're humbled and flattered, but I hope they don't think that this Squeezebeard is just a costume merkin!)  Things get underway around 8 pm, with admission stated as $10 or $5 if you arrive with the Critical Mass in costume!

Other performances slated for the evening include our hornier separated-at-birth pseudo-sibling band Blackberry Wood, the Balkan marching band the Orkestar Slivovica, Miss Titty Kitty (come now, that name speaks for itself -- but let's not forget just how many titties kitties have!), a final performance from the full slate of Inject before percussionist Amrit parts ways to tour around India... and, rumour has it, a host of ghostly folks who really know how to dance along to Thriller.  (A further rumour, depending on weather conditions and the wonderful impaired judgment of the mob mentality, has proposed a late-night naked costume bicycle ride.  One thing we don't have, folks, is boring gigs.)

...

Also, we had a great time at the Parade of Lost Souls Saturday then also at Montmartre Sunday night with Petunia (and then another great time in Strathcona with Alison and a hot bowl of her bors... I mean, blood soup.) We should be back there soon, and I don't just mean for our Thundering Word feature spot November 30th!

Next up -- Zawa's on Tuesday Nov 4th with Sister DJ's Radio Band, but more about that later!

2008-05-30: Velofusion party at the ANZA Club!

In the run-up to Bike Month, aka "June" to the uninitiated, the month of May in these parts always features a pirate-themed Critical Mass ("Critical Mast") group bicycle ride (-- they're not blocking traffic, they ARRRR traffic!) ... And who better to play its monthly "Velofusion" afterparty than Vancouver's pre-eminent pirate band?

Further contributing to our "good fit" for this long-considered show, proceeds raised through tonight's celebrations will go to benefit Free Geek Vancouver, the Portland-emigrated free software e-waste solution who we're considered the "house band" of (experts, after all, in the field of salvaging further use from old trash.) Though the particulars are still technically up in the air, if this month's installment is anything like its predecessors, there is likely a $10 admission ($5 for Critical Mass participants) and the bill is very likely to contain some DJ-fueled dancing madness (oho, Timothy Wisdom!) spilling out on to the ANZA Club floor... so get ready to strap on your pegs and patches and prepare to shiver timbers and discover booty as we make you walk the Plank!

(As a special bonus, click on the thumbnail for the general Critical Mass poster. It's really quite charmingly whimsical!  Also on tap now: FreeGeek's own poster for the event!  A bit more explicit and inclusive than ours -- but they knew more than we did 8)

Also a special greeting and thanks to our friends in Portland for a thrilling moustache party weekend! Cheers also to the folks at Bex's crashed BBQ -- two kegs of homebrew and a Balkan band make up for any license taken with the +1s.