2009-10-30: Velowe'en on Devil's Night!

As ancient lore tells it, Veloween is an age-old festival where for one day of the year old, dead, abandoned, dismembered and forgotten bicycles awaken to roll amongst the well-oiled and able-framed. We will celebrate together in copious ritualistic beer drinking and dance, possessed by the rhythms of the Creaking Planks, the Fur Bearing Animals and DJ Steamboat Fatty. A practice known to raise the dead follows, the eldritch Jackson Zombie Dance Off. Offerings to the shadow world will be made by Little Woo and her shadow puppet fairytale.

The best dressed bicycle competition commences the moment Critical Mass arrives at the Anza Hall (3 W. 8th Avenue at Ontario); the rider of the best-dressed bicycle wins never-ending pints all night.

At the strike of one am -- for those who are most fearless amongst us -- we will ride naked in circles around our celebration (did we mention that the event is a fundraiser for the 2010 World Naked Bike Ride?) to chase the bikes of the dead back to the underworld!

8 pm - 2 am; $10 / $5 if in costume with Critical Mass

2009-05-20: Savor at the Heritage Hall, then the "Spring Fling" One Cool Word launch at the Biltmore!

It's an improbable and, quite frankly, somewhat foolish weeknight twofer from the Creaking Planks... but with this many good causes at classy venues, who are we to turn down the invitations to make our unmistakable mark?  Starting the night, The Neighbours Organic Weekly Co-operative (NOWBC) hosts a benefit for the CityReach Care Society's "Food for Families" project.  As well as a potluck dinner and fabulous prizes, the evening presents a slate of performers (kid-friendly up 'til 7:30 pm):

• 6 p.m. D'Arcy Stainton, children's performer


• 6:45 Lily Jo


• 7:00 Melodious Mandolins


• 7:45 Friends of Thieves


• 8:30 Creaking Planks


• 9:15 Yer Blues

and here's its poster!

But by the end of that line-up, we'll already have shuffled up Main Street to help celebrate the launch of One Cool Word magazine's 13th issue (you remember, they presented our pal Bob Uker back in issue #5 in Spring 2007) at the Biltmore Cabaret (395 Kingsway)! (keep an ear open for the rendition of Dead Man's Pants from our demo on the accompanying CD!) Here are the rough plans for THAT night...

• 9:30 The Contemporary Lovers


• 10:20 Creaking Planks


• 11:10 Analog Bell Service


• 12:00 Fur Bearing Animals

plus …and special guest models from Dr. Sketchy’s Anti-Art School!

And here's its poster!

Update! April Smith of AHA Media (backing up Rob "The Delete Bin" Jones' report for Miss 604 -- whew, what a tangled web! -- where we are described as "jug band music as played by Tom Waits’ feral stepchildren") caught us out at the Biltmore and posted a couple of videos of us on YouTube (as well as a schwack of photos from the whole evening on Flickr)!

Here we are performing Creep...


... and here's our Psycho Killer! The classics always have something new to offer upon revisitation.