2009-12-18: Planks celebrate Rio Theatre holiday open house

The Rev. Lucian Rumblebucket has ushered us in to help fill the room (and what a room! The Rio Theatre at 1660 E. Broadway @ Commercial Drive) with holiday spirits (Jacob Marley, pleased to meetcha!) along with the help of such fabulous performers as The Wet Spots! Maria in the Shower! Tall Brothers! Tribal fusion bellydancer Luciterra! Jenny Magenta! Burgundy Brixx! Lindsey Cherry! DJ K-tel! aaaaand "a Santa Claus who gets more inappropriate as the night wears on!" We're scheduled to hit the stage around quarter to 10.

The house will also be conducting a movie poster sale. Entry by donation; proceeds to the Food Bank!

2009-12-15: Rump Planks back at Blackstrap Sadie's Old-Time Jamboree

Sarah Jane "Blackstrap Sadie" Scouten seems to have decided to have us back! From 8 pm on tonight, a couple of Creaking Planks are outnumbered (for once) by the Lawn Dogs and a whole host of holidaying Scoutens (including Anna and Jacob) determined to make Cafe Montmartre (4362 Main Street at 28th Ave) as much fun as their favorite front stoop. Also on the bill: David Faber and his fabulous autoharp! Bring your most owlish nanny and make sure she's darned good and ready to hoot!

2009-11-12: Creaking Planks on Live From Thunderbird Radio Hell

Picking up on an invitation from former Butchershop Floor cohort Ben Lai, the jug band of the damned convokes at UBC for the first time ever in order to spread our curious musical taint out over the public airwaves (CiTR 101.9 fm or later as a podcast) as the second hour of a special two-hour station fundraising extravaganza installment of the long-running live music radio show Live From Thunderbird Radio Hell. Beware! We go live from 10-11 pm!

Edit! Missed the live broadcast? Fortunately, the show podcasts!

Track listing:

• 1. Dead Man's Pants (1:31)


• 2. I'm A Lousy Lay (3:58:)


• 3. The Girl In The Pink Canoe (10:31)


• 4. I Want You (But I Don't Need You) (13:52)


• 5. Rhymin' And Stealin' (20:15)


• 6. Fight For Your Right (To Plunder) (23:15)


• 7. Insane In The Membrane (31:33)


• 8. Womanizer / Toxic medley (34:51)


• 9. The Song Of The Count (45:07)


• 10. Kiddie Closer (48:23)

2009-11-05: Memewar issue launch at the Railway Club

Celebrating the 10th issue of Memewar Magazine (on the theme of "Adaptation") at the Railway Club (579 Dunsmuir) with the Planks at midnight and other musical acts Wintermitts and MT-40 as well as readings from Neil Rayner and Maria Lénàrt -- and the thrilling conclusion to Thor Polukoshko’s multimedia post-modern advertising genre mash-up Cereal Junkies!

Doors at 8:30; $10 admission includes a copy of the magazine.

2009-10-31: Hallowe'en with the Whiskeydicks

The jug band of the damned is going insane in the Samhain with their most booze-fuelled fiddle-rapping comrades ever the WhiskeyDicks from 10 pm on at Malone's Bar & Grill (608 W. Pender @ Seymour). $10 doesn't only get you admission to this bash, but a chance to compete for fabulous costume prizes in the categories of best Thriller, best killer, best sexy (yes, the chiller and diller get short shrift yet again), and best overall costume (don't be confused).

2009-10-30: Velowe'en on Devil's Night!

As ancient lore tells it, Veloween is an age-old festival where for one day of the year old, dead, abandoned, dismembered and forgotten bicycles awaken to roll amongst the well-oiled and able-framed. We will celebrate together in copious ritualistic beer drinking and dance, possessed by the rhythms of the Creaking Planks, the Fur Bearing Animals and DJ Steamboat Fatty. A practice known to raise the dead follows, the eldritch Jackson Zombie Dance Off. Offerings to the shadow world will be made by Little Woo and her shadow puppet fairytale.

The best dressed bicycle competition commences the moment Critical Mass arrives at the Anza Hall (3 W. 8th Avenue at Ontario); the rider of the best-dressed bicycle wins never-ending pints all night.

At the strike of one am -- for those who are most fearless amongst us -- we will ride naked in circles around our celebration (did we mention that the event is a fundraiser for the 2010 World Naked Bike Ride?) to chase the bikes of the dead back to the underworld!

8 pm - 2 am; $10 / $5 if in costume with Critical Mass

2009-10-27: Blackstrap Sadie's Old Time Jamboree #2

Blackstrap Sadie (perhaps best not to ask what those straps are for) mounts the second of her extraordinary hootnannys down on Cafe Montmartre's cozy little stage (4362 Main Street at 28th), the next best thing to a front porch, where the bill boasts "everything from blues to bluegrass to old time to originals and all the beauty that there is, in between." Fortunately for us, that grey liminal zone is our specialty.

We (who? Anna Scouten, Andrew Beaty, Sarah Jane Scouten, Martin Riesle of Maria in the Shower), the Lawn Dogs, and more!) play for tips at Cafe Montmartre!